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Behind Every Successful Man...

I am constantly amused by what I observe in my own home.

It's funny how things get communicated between the members in my family. I see and hear them expressing one thing, but it's what they're not saying that I'm picking up on more and more--especially with my husband.

When I began deciphering his code--which I will reveal to you in just a moment-- I began to see a pattern in his behavior. I tested my theories in controlled and uncontrolled environments until, finally, I cracked the code.

I then decided to branch out a little. I asked the question: Is it just my husband or are there others that have this unspoken language?

I researched.

I polled men and women alike.

And now, I am confident in my findings.

Are you ready for this? Are you sitting down? Here we go....

Ladies, WE determine the success of our own husbands.

If a man has a great position within his company, makes six figures, drives a nice vehicle, lives in a to-die-for house, and takes the wife and the kids on multiple fancy vacations every year; none of it will matter if his woman is ungrateful, complacent, inattentive and discouraging. All of those things will make a man beaten down, frustrated, negative, self-doubting, and vulnerable to temptation. Think about it.

If a man has a job that he doesn't enjoy, barely makes ends meet, car is a clunker, the house isn't in the best of neighborhoods, and he can't even take his wife and kids to the movies; none of that will matter if his wife loves him, builds him up emotionally, acknowledges his hard work for the family, encourages him on the days that he wants to give up and; she works hard to keep the house, herself, and the children taken care of. All of those things will make a man strong, ready to fight another day, positive, confident, and able to withstand the wiles of the devil. Think about it.

Now, how does that play out in my home?

Taking the data that I have acquired from all of this research, I have concluded the following:

  • Even though we don't live in the biggest or nicest of houses, if I take care of our home and my husband sees it well maintained, he will feel successful.  
  • Even though we don't drive the nicest of vehicles, if we keep ours clean and looking nice, my husband feels successful. 
  • If the food that I make for him is something he enjoys and it's ready when he gets home from a long day, he feels successful. 
  • When I am careful with our money and make it stretch to cover our needs, he feels successful. 
  • If the children and I RESPECT (this is a big one) his opinion and his God given authority over our home, he feels successful.
  • If I love him in a way that he feels secure in his masculinity, and in our relationship, he feels successful. 
  • When I pray for him, he feels successful and invincible.
Have I lost some of you yet? I know that these things are unpopular to think or say in our culture today, but I have to ask.... 
Why is it acceptable to do those things for an employer, but not for the people that we love the most? I will never understand the ideas of some people,but I digress.    
Some of you might be asking yourselves, "But what about YOU? What do YOU get in return?" That's a fair question. It's not going to look the same in every home, but I can only speak from my own experience. When I love my husband without expectation; when I serve him to the best of my ability (remember Colossians 3:23?); when I try to be a good wife, I have a good husband. I don't ask for it. I don't nag for it. I don't manipulate for it. I don't pout for it. It happens and I think it's because God blesses the efforts.  I don't do those things because I want a good response, I do those things because I love my husband and I love the Lord.

Do I always put forth this caliber of effort? Of course not! I'm a person, not a machine. Just like some days when I'm not the best mom for my kids--it doesn't mean that I love them less, but there are days that I am less self-sacrificial than others. Sometimes I don't feel motivated to serve my family because I feel like they have all been jerks to me. We are not commanded to love one another only in favorable conditions, right? We are commanded to love everyone in spite of the conditions. 
Why should it be any different with our husbands? They aren't the enemy! Satan is. 

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." 
Ephesians 6:12

If you love your husband and you want him to feel like all of the effort he puts forth for you and the family makes him successful, validate his efforts. Tell him he's doing a great job. Just like you want to hear how appreciated you are, your husband wants to hear it too. Respect his opinion. Respect him and thank him openly in front of your children. Pray for him. Love him. You will be amazed how God will work with that.

Remember that God is routing for your marriage. He wants your man to be a successful husband and father. God delights when His children live for Him! He created your husband for this!

So, what's behind every successful man?

A good God....

and a praying woman.


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